Personal Experiences
"Personal experiences concerning the godan test"
Report Number 1: Contributed by: Marco Verheij, Holland, 13 August 1998
"I did the sakki test at the Stockholm Taikai (on the 7th of August).I had tried it once before in Japan in 1997 an account of that can be read in the eyewitness section. When I tried it in Stockholm I was very tired. Having just come back from Japan and travelling to Sweden on top of the training wore me out. In Japan I also advised my favorite teacher Mr.Nagase on how to take the test. He said to sit in a fudoshin way and just to wait and accept what ever is coming. The taihenjutsu advise he gave me was to roll to the rear. Keeping all this in mind I waited for my name to be called, as Larry Johnson pronounced it wrong I doubted a moment until he called: "Holland". Because of this I was a bit amused. I went forward with a quiet feeling, sat on the floor in the middle of the traininghall and adjusted my feet. I closed my eyes and saw the red you see when closing
your eyes towrds the sun. Soke tapped me on each shoulder and on the head, and said "stop". I waited for maybe 2 or 3 seconds, then I felt the urge to move and rolled backwards to the left. I opened my eyes and saw Soke who had walked a few meters and was looking at the judan present. He asked them approval and the judan nodded and said "yes". I bowed and went to Soke to shake hands and accept his congratulations."
Report Number 2: Contributed by: Paul Richardson, U.K., 04 January 1999
18th September 1994
UK Taikai - The great hall in Peckforton Castle England
"I remember going to the Taikai as a 4th Dan knowing that I would be
expected to take the 5th Dan test. The training was good, and I enjoyed
myself a lot. Several of my students came also.
On the Second day we were told that this was the day of the test. 13 of
us were to take the test. Peter King and other gave me lots of
encouragement, but I felt that they expected too much of me. Since I had
left the BBD, I had travelled a lot, and been to several Taikai. I had
been many times to Holland and Belgium to train with Sven Eric. I had
met Marco in Holland and trained with him at the Swedish Taikai in 91
and 92.
A friend of mine who had trained with me at my first Bujinkan lesson was
also taking the test. He passed. I took the test twice and failed.
Sensei hit me the first time on the shoulder. The second one missed but
one person said no. I was the only one to fail.. 13 is unlucky in the
UK. Someone told me that this was mentioned to Hatsumi people and that
he did not wish any bad luck to happen at the Taikai and a 13th pass
would be lucky.
Peter King told me that he was going to ask Hatsumi if I could retake
the test on the 3rd day. That night in the hotel I sat with Oguri
Sensei, and Someya Sensei. Someya told me I was very close and to relax
more. He also told me it took him 3 goes before he made 5th Dan. This
made me feel a little better. The next morning Peter told me that I was
to take the test again. I wore my favourite Gi, put on my engagement
ring for luck and spent a long time sitting on the toilet (good advise
from a friend).
When I was called to the room where sensei was waiting only 9th and 10th
Dan were there. The day before there must have been 35 – 45 people
watching. I was so scared. Peter had been showing me how to roll from
seiza and pushing me to practise over and over again. Other Godan who I
am not too friendly with also made me practise. I soon discovered even
the 5th Dan you do not like want you to pass the test. They understand
how you feel.
Sensei spoke with me about using Taihenjutsu and that I must relax, and
let it happen. I knelt down, closed my eyes, and felt the shinai on my
head. I almost jumped out of my skin when he shouted ‘start’. No
feeling, nothing. All I remember was is looking at the floor and
thinking Peter said ‘Roll’. But before I did I heard lots of clapping. I
passed first (third) time. I couldn’t stop shaking. Seeing everyone’s
joy as they rush towards you when you pass is amazing. You realise how
much they all want you to pass. Hatsumi slapped me that hard on my back,
I felt it on my chest.
I have my fails on video. But not my pass. Just the way I want it."
Report Number 3: Contributed by: Alan Leech, U.K., 04 December 1999
"I attended the Tai Kai this year knowing full well that some of my friends and I would be going for the godan test. I can't tell you how nervous I was before and during the Tai Kai.
We all assembled at the chosen venue on the second day at lunch. There was so much tension present you could cut it with a knife. Only the candidates and judan were present. Tai Kai staff were there as security just to make sure.
There were about forty odd people to take the test, so we had to go in groups of ten. I remember standing outside the room with my buyu and listening to the crack as the shinai was brought down on just about everyone. Us lot waiting outside, looking at each other and thinking nervously "oh my god!".
I tried to calm down by sitting on the floor in seiza and empty my head, as did some others.
Then it was our turn, we entered the room. And knelt down at the far corner facing Sensei. The fear was running through me at this time. I don't recall who went first if they passed or whatever, But as I sat there and looked at sensei I didn't feel anything from him. His eye's looked lifeless as though he wasn't really in the room at all. There was no emotion, no feeling, nothing that I could pick up on. I was scared just looking at him, I felt as though we were sat opposite death. I have always thought of this test being done historically with a live blade, so maybe that accounts for my feelings.
after a couple of failures Sensei talked to the judan about who will pass and who won't by the way they move etc.
He then beckoned the next person to get up and for a few seconds nobody moved it was as though we had all thought "no thanks not today". He beckoned again and I thought "oh to hell with it, lets do it" and got up.
I knelt down in front of Sensei and tried even before my right knee had touched the mat to "quiet my mind" I don't know how long I was there before the cut but I just moved forward and left into a roll. There was no "oh here it is" but I did feel something that I can't describe. As I did the roll I was thinking "nope, too soon you fail, that wasn't it" time seemed to stand still, but I was surprised and shocked when I heard the applause coming from everyone present. I still didn't think I had done anything special so I just sat back in the row. My mind going through loads of different emotions. I never even stopped to thank Sensei, but I wish I had.
I looked at Peter King as we walked out, he was sat there smiling at us. That was really funny to me, most times when I train with him he launches me across the room or something. But to see that was really quite amusing for me. then of course I faced my own sensei Graham Ramsden, and he too was delighted for me. I felt glad that I did not fail. I felt like we were expected to pass off both Peter and Graham. So I was happy not to fail them now. That was until of course the doubts start to settle in but that is another story.
I welcome your personal thoughts on the matter or general budo, and I suppose now we all have to train harder and live up to the role and responsibility which we all have in the Bujinkan.
Yours in budo, Alan Leech"
Report Number 4: Contributed by: Duncan Steward, Australia (Tasmania), 25 December 1999
"I have been training in Bujinkan Taijutsu now for over ten years. I travelled to England in 1999 for the UK Tai Kai hosted by Peter King with my instructor Richard Jones. I took the godan test and after reading Allans description of it I thought, " that's how i felt." Waiting in the room outside of the testing room was very intense and you could almost see people changing their minds.
Security were at the doors more so to stop us from running away then stopping people from getting in! We were sent in in groups of ten. Silence
fell everywhere and it seemed that we were hearing equal amounts of shinai hitting heads as well as claps. When it was my groups turn to enter my tension left me and I was overcome with a feeling that was very hard to explain. I knelt down and looked at Hatsumi sensei at the other end of the room with the shinai, he looked 7 feet tall and had a presence that made my hair prick up. I became overcome with a feeling that I had entered a situation that was life or death. I felt like my life was very fragile and that I was going to leave alive or not leave at all. I watched as the first
person passed with great ease and rolled away perfectly. Everyone clapped, even myself, it was beautiful to watch.
It was my turn and I moved onto the mats infront of Sensei and felt very nervous and jumpy. Hatsumi said something to Ben Jones and Ben asked me to move forward a little. I shuffled forward and felt myself relax and accept the situation much better. It felt like an eternity before I moved to the left and looked up to see the shinai where my head had been. I moved without even realising that I had moved. To feel like I had to move would be to late in my eyes. It was such a bizarre sensation that it can only be explained as being "in the moment." I heard claps and moved back with the other students.
Hatsumi stated to me via Ben jones that it is important that we both are connected to each other and are in line with each other. I have pondered on sensei's comment to try and gain a better appretiation of what he meant. I'm still thinking! I moved from the area with the students and it felt very humbling yet I felt very on edge from the test. for me the test made me realise that i am just starting to begin to understand what the Bujinkan is about. I don't believe that I am now a teacher,but I do believe that I am still a beginner and will always be a student. Life is about learning and I
think the godan test symbolizes moving forward and gaining a better understanding of life and how to live it, going with the flow and being in
the moment as much as you can, thus becoming aware of everything around you, both good and bad and from what ever angle. This is my view only, so if you disagree or have other thoughts, write into this great web site and tell us so we can share more and therefore learn more. all the best, Duncan Steward"
Please send me your personal experience and it will be put here. Complete stories should include:
- date of taking the test (or at least what year).
- where the test was taken.
- number of times failed before passing the test.
- what the experience was like.
Any comments or questions can be mailed to Marco Verheij at risu@luna.nl.